It’s always interesting to see how other cultures view your country. I’m from the United States, home of the Wal-Marts, where I can always have things my way (yeah right), and am supposed to be able to say what’s on my mind. I never thought though, that I would miss a pancake house or local take-out at any hour of the day, until I moved to Spain. Spain has siesta hours at the exact same time that I want to get my munch on! So I currently have a love/dislike relationship with my current residence. I was tired of the regular tostada, don’t eat jamón, and gave up the tortilla. All of these options are tasty to many, but can an American sista get a variety? A menu with numbers in it? Or options that include something green?
I turned to Facebook to find a local spot that had a breakfast that resembles my Country of origin and the ‘Standard American Diet’, in any way possible. Off on a desayuno adventure I went all dressed up with euro to burn and a hot husband holding my hand to make sure I didn’t fall on my a$$ since I pulled my back doing too much yoga with my child on top of me (don’t ask). My fellow expats recommended this quaint Café Venta El Nene with rave reviews, so we had to go there.
Let me tell you: culinary stereotype is REAL, lol! The American breakfast consisted of mainly bacon, sausage, eggs (any way you like ’em) and carbs that were adorned with either powdered sugar, sugary glaze, or syrup. There was even a Miami menu that had really creative sandwiches, one with guava and mayo dressing and powdered sugar sprinkled on top. I smiled, gasped and laughed all at the same time when I read the menu. I gasped at the immediate mental heart attack I felt looking at all these fat-turday menu options, I smiled at how creative it was with a doughnut sandwich, and laughed 
because my husband gave me a look of sympathy as he said “I’m sorry boo. You want to go somewhere else?”. I replied with a determined and firm “No! We are committed on this date, and I’ll find something.” I slammed my fist on the bar with a victorious smile as I smiled at the waiter/owner/bartender and asked for a Café Americano to start, then after much internal contemplation and temptation I stuck to my veggie guns and ordered: tostada entera con tomate y melocotón. Yup, I ordered a Spanish plate of toast with fresh tomato slices and peach preserves (mama’s got a sweet tooth). After all that lamenting I did over the local menu, and yearning for an American breakfast, I learned that day, ‘I’m not THAT American’.
My Boo went all Patriotic and ate his bacon dipped in the yellow juice from his sunny side up eggs. I just laughed and gagged 
a little at the same time. I gagged because it was a little gross to me (salmonella from the egg yolks right?), laughed when I remembered he has an iron gut, and of course smiled at the fact we were on a day-date-adventure in the pursuit of American food. I walked away with a content tummy of tomatoes, carbs, and a crap-load of caffeine.
I may not be your typical bacon babe from America, but it was kind of charming to see another Country’s interpretation of what they felt was American. So to all American’s out there. If you are offended by this Country’s menu, I suggest you stop eating so much bacon, ha! Or tell your neighbor to stop if you’re a veggie-head. I liked it here. The staff was nice, the menu inventive and the TV volume was turned up. Nice to meet you, Venta El Nene.
I appreciate a tomato in the morning, now more than ever before. Oh, and FYI, they are not a part of the Standard American Diet, teeheehee 😉
Lol!!!! Don’t give up.. You’ll find a nice place to eat… I hope??
We are pushing forward and NOT giving up Loyda lol…if for no other reason, to keep you entertained lol!
Jeanette, it was fun meeting you the other night at Ashley’s. I enjoy your writing style! So much personality!
oh HI!!! It was a pleasure to meet u as well for a few quick laughs and lipstick 😉 Thank u Rachel 🙂